Manners

Several months ago some friends and I were discussing how people have changed. We jokingly talked about writing an article about manners. This is what the first draft looked like...read it with a grain of salt.

Please, excuse me, thank you…no this is not a lesson on old English grammar or rhetoric.

It has become increasingly obvious the manners of our late grandmothers have passed and we have adopted a new set. As I began to notice this development I took a closer look at society and what are apparently some of the new ways we can behave. I looked up what it means to have manners. Interestingly most of the websites about manners had to do with teaching children. What about adults? Are we exempt? Often adults are focusing on teaching children manners but are not themselves practicing these same standards. Below are some observations of adults and how manners have changed.

Apparently in 2008 it is perfectly alright to cut in line as long as you are just buying a newspaper. It is also kosher to ignore any person in the service industry therefore responding to their questions with whatever it is you want to say. For example, if one pulls up to the tank at a local gas station and the attendant approaches the car saying, “Hi, how are you?” It is now good manners to respond, “A full-tank of unleaded gas.” Aunt Norma would surely turn in her grave. Another change in manners is the use of motion instead of words to get your point across. An example of this may be to be in a coffee shop and instead of kindly verbally alerting the barista to the need for a new nonfat carafe, one may simply walk up to her and shake the empty carafe.

There are new allowable behaviors in all areas of our culture. While driving it is no longer necessary to give a thank you wave to the driver who just let you cut in front of them. Instead avoiding eye contact is the new best practice. Furthermore, eye contact is simply no longer needed. When speaking to any other person, it is appropriate to keep your head down, particularly if you are distracted by your cell phone or palm pilot—in fact everyone will understand your need for holding up the line in the busy grocery store because you are on an important call with your best friend about the party you attended the night before. However even after your phone call, feel free to keep your self distracted by any other item or person to avoid eye contact. Previously this would have been seen as rude or disrespectful, but in 2008 it makes the person talking to you feel better about themselves and therefore helps everyone.