Nightmare on Nude Street

Regardless of what my defiant to change body may tell you, I have been working out somewhat regularly for quite some time now.  This has been going on since before Gold’s Gym was bought out by L.A. Fitness; back when I would have thought Body Pump was something that happened only when one had too much to drink.  However, even with all these trips to the gym and a nearly equal amount of times to the locker room, I can’t help but be shaken to my very core by some of the things I’ve seen in there.  Visions that will be with me forever.  Visions I like to call “Nightmare on Nude Street.” Let me share some with you.  For starters, how about walking into the locker room just after water aerobics and seeing several, women standing around visiting sans not only their bathing suit, but also their birthday suit!  Not a care in the world.  Many having parts of the body in different areas then where they began. Always at least one standing confidently in front of the mirror just enough so that no one will notice her eyeing her figure as the group discusses some topic ranging from temperature to tee time.  Or perhaps, just last week when stepping out of a stall I noticed some movement to my left and foolishly turned my head to see a woman walking out of a nearby stall; again completely nude, save the water shoes she was wearing and the walker in hand.  She looked up at me as if to say, “Excuse me, and why are you in here with clothes on?”  Finally, let’s talk for a moment about the woman who sits on the bench (by the way, gross, people tie their shoes there) with nothing between what God gave her and the poor old place where who knows how many other bare bottoms have been there since it was last cleaned, and reads.  It makes me want to say, “Can I get you a blanket, or a towel or a dissenfectant?”  I know what you are thinking--prude.  And I understand that locker rooms have naked people in them, but c’mon! Aren’t you cold? Were you not hugged as a child? Have you considered that others may still prefer a little mystery? Locker rooms should have revolving doors with signs that say, “Get in, get dressed and get out.”